For a very long time, I’ve had a friend – not a close one, casual – I have admired very much for his inner strength and fortitude. A middle-aged person of color and a devoted parent to a special needs child, his resilience in the face of struggle has long been a source of inspiration.
Unfortunately, I don’t feel that way anymore, and it only took one declarative sentence in a public forum to do that.
It turns out in the new Pixar feature, Lightyear, employs an interesting meta-conceit. We’re used to seeing the adventures of a Buzz Lightyear action figure (voiced by conservative icon Tim Allen) in the popular movie series Toy Story. Here, we’re presented with the “real” Buzz Lightyear and the adventures that supposedly inspired the in-universe merchandising we’ve seen replicated on real-life store shelves writ large for the last three decades.
Typically, in our bizarrely parochial fan culture, the notion of rebooting (and re-casting with all-American boy Chris Evans) a fan-favorite pop icon has proven somewhat controversial. But the real controversy has nothing to do with the concept at all. Apparently, there are a pair of LGBTQ+ characters in the film who briefly engage in a same-sex kiss. Horrors!
Leaving aside the manufactured outrage over Disney’s alleged agenda to “queer up” the nation and entice God-fearing Christians over to what is apparently an irresistibly seductive lifestyle – which is predictable and typical when coming from flutter-hearted ideologues – the matter that concerns me is otherwise caring, sober and reasonable people agreeing to and enabling the active persecution of LGBTQ+ people as an undesirable group.
Which brings me to the point at hand, the single declarative statement that eroded my respect for another human being, which is thus: While he allegedly had no problem with same-sex attraction personally, he agreed that parents should be given a “heads-up” about it.
So, what’s the problem with that? Well, let me phrase it in a way that’s much more evocative of the actual nature of the controversy: Those horrible fucking queers are doing horrible fucking queer shit in my family space opera cartoon.
Making it somehow a threat to the Family – a concept so revered and sacrosanct in American society that the so-called “family values” faction have made it nearly impossible to raise one in safety and comfort, at reasonable effort and expense, without the built-in privileges of white, Christian, heteronormative society.
In an attempt to be discreet, I directly messaged my concerns to this person, which he chose to ignore. So I present my concerns here. I’m not attempting to vilify this person, you understand. I am highlighting the fact that many, far too many “ordinary” American citizens are quite willing to agree to the casual persecution of marginalized populations without too much thought about what that agreement really means or entails.
Here is what I messaged, with a few minor elaborations to clarify a point added here and there:
Giving a “heads-up” on same-sex kisses is singling out such displays of affection as deviant behavior. It is not helpful and marks LGBTQ+ individuals as undesirable and unworthy of the same consideration and rights that hetero/cisgender people enjoy without having to explain their existence or their behavior.
Even if, as you say, you don’t object to queer behavior, you’re still agreeing to a gestalt in which people (like me) are ostracized for not being heteronormative. Well, people like us exist. I would ask you to substitute any other marginalized group for LGBTQ+ people. Imagine if people wanted to have a warning for parents about people acting Jewish, Mexican, or disabled in a movie.
Why is it that equal rights and equal protection are seemingly only for white, abled, neurotypical, heterosexual Christians in this country? I’m Chicano, I’m queer, I’m disabled, and I’m agnostic; I guarantee you I chose only ONE of those things.
For heaven’s sake, if a kid asks you why two people of the same sex are kissing, it should not be beyond the ability of a parent to explain. The only possible answer is that they love each other, the same reason any other two people would kiss. The only possible purpose for setting up some kind of “heads-up”/warning system for parents is to avoid the film entirely and thus avoid the question coming up entirely, and allowing them to pretend LGBTQ+ people do not even exist.
Your stance explicitly enables the active persecution of a marginalized population.
That’s messed up.
Again, I’m not trying to paint this individual as a villain. He’s an absolutely decent person. He is an honorable man.
It is also true that the greatest crimes in human history, crimes so monstrous there can be no atonement for them, have all been enabled by decent, honorable men.
No human being is sans flaw. We must all strive to be better, more understanding, and more compassionate toward others.
The problem I have is when intelligent, informed people of conscience casually decline to expend the effort.
Bohemian Radio 
I completely agree with your sentiment here. I’ve also been told that the movie theaters here around me where I live, are actually fast forwarding through the kiss that you are referencing here. These last few years living in Texas I’ve come to realize that I really do not understand the country that I thought I grew up in, nor my fellow countrymen that inhabit it.
Beyond basic human decency, I just fail to see why extending equal rights and equal protection under the law to everyone in our society has to be so controversial. So many people are so sure of what the U.S. Constitution says, so confident that its protections exclude people they don’t like or approve of, without ever having read a single article of it.